Hatin ass bitches: The Video

Hatin' Ass Bitches

So...OMG!!!let me tell you this is why parental blocks were created because young minds are being corrupted by the phenomenon called "MySpace". These poor innocent girls probably thought this was a great idea and it probably all started because some girl named Tawana got mad at LaTanya for talking to D'Andre on his myspace comment wall...Moms and Dads, put the block on the computer because this is a travesty! I know I heard that little girl say "clit", she probably can't even find hers and I can guaran-fuckin-tee that the little boy she's referencing sure as hell doesn't know where it is because I know grown ass men who still can find it! Good lord in heaven please hold all the world children of the world a little tighter cause they're getting loose in the streets

Leslie C. Robinson Day

So...let me tell you while watching Colbert Report the other day I get this major idea from him...okay technically in my hood we would call it, "biting" cuz clearly he came up with it first, but who pays attention to technicalities. Anywho he bets the mayor of some obscure city in Canada that if his favorite hockey team wins against the mayor's city team then the mayor must declare "Stephan Colbert" Day on his birthday! Now how gangsta is that?! To tell someone that they must declare their birthday as your day because their lame ass team scored one less goal than yours. I thoroughly enjoy people paying me attention and acknowledging the fact that clearly I am the freakin flyest...so now I need to find someone to name something after me. That's like the ultimate form of flattery and capital "G" status. I can hear it now, "What are you doing for Leslie Robinson holiday?" "Girl, going to the parade, you know it's gonna crack!" For anyone who grew up in Los Angeles you remember how excited we used to be on MLK day to go to the parade down on King Blvd. I mean clearly it just signified the beginning of another ghetto year in the city of Angels. My parade would be just like Martin's, full of little ghetto dancers from Sister's Suki's school of praise dance, the Masons, and random school children from Centennial, Westchester, and Locke High. **hmm I feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it** Now if only I could find some person to hoodwink into thinking this idea doesn't just sound good in my head...

Blogger Trippin

So...I've been trying to post videos for like three days! I'm so annoyed, I will return when I have calmed down...if only I didn't have this damn mono I would go have a drink...or four.

We all like a lil' Role Play...

So...let me tell tell you I am a firm believer that everyone has a role to play in life and when people step out of their role that is where the confusion begins. For example everyone wasn't meant to the "cool" guy or else how would cool be cool? Everyone couldn't handle popularity it would be too much attention for some. Some are meant to fulfill the whack role, and that's fine just wear your whackness proudly. This brings me to a story of someone stepping out of their role. Yesterday as I am leaving class I get a phone call from what my mother would call an "old flame" we happen to have three classes together due to the fact that we are the same major. Which for other people may be awkward but for I feel like, "Hey I've been there, done that...and I'm fly so you wish you could do it again." oh well call me cocky! Anyway as I answer the phone "old flame" asked me if me disappearing after class is going to be my new thing? What?! I'm sorry I didn't realize I had to check in before leaving the room and going on about my business. So I agree to meet the "old flame" in the student center for a quick bite to eat before another class, however I have a few things to do so I may be a few minutes. Now if I told you that I would be a second...would you have called me four more times within the hour asking where I was and what I was doing?! MY GAWD MAN REST YOURSELF! When we finally meet my first comment is,

L. Camille: "Stop clockin' me, MY MAN doesn't even do that."
Old Flame: "That's the problem, if he did then maybe you wouldn't have all that attitude."
LC: "What in the hell?! Are you serious? Negro I have one damn daddy and one boyfriend, and YOU are neither of those things so YOU'RE ROLE STEPPING."

Can you believe that bulls*it!? Telling me that if my boyfriend was checking my whereabouts, questioning me, and rushing me that I would be a different person. That's that bullsh*t if I ever heard it before. Ladies and Gentlemen this is why he is an OLD FLAME, because clearly he has a misconstrued idea of who L.C Rob is and what L.C Rob does. I can't have a man thinking he can check me, now don't get me wrong, I do like a man who can pull my reigns from time to time because I am a lot of woman...but someone plays that role so I'm good.

People play your role. We've all been given one, whether it's the "cool" guy, the "bad" chick, the "lame" accept your place in society and wear it proudly...and please for the love of James Brown don't play another role...unless it's for a little "naughty" fun!

Back to the Future...

So...remember when you were younger and everything on TV talked about the effervescent "future" like it was this huge, miraculous thing that was going to change the world. I think it is safe to say that we have set ourselves up for disappointment. As my classmates and I were sitting in another fun filled legal comm class at Howard University, one of my peers says, "Have you ever thought to yourself that were in the future?" And as she said that, I felt as if a light bulb went off in my head, clearly BLOG topic! As she reminded us of the movie Back to the Future:3 where the future is 2004...hmmm I think we can all agree when I say we have been FRIED! It's as if we have been the butt of some kind of joke, I mean clearly I remember sitting in front of the TV watching the Jetsons in their more than amazing, cleaned by a robot named Rosie, tech whore's heaven abode thinking to myself man I can't wait until 200-something it's going to be crazy. Because in my very own larger than life mind, I just that by the year 2001 my family would have a flying car and perhaps even a Rosie of our very own, except her name would clearly have to be Esmeralda because I'm from California and all the help is...well let's say from beyond the border. But here we are in 2007 and I got nothing! Nothing folks, no flying car, no space station school, not even any vacays to the Moon thus far. This is ridiculous. Then there was Zenon, you all recall her from the Disney channel. (check it out Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century circa 2001) Now her time frame was 2045-2056; there were two sequels, so there's still hope but I have only seen a few strides going towards that way, I mean check out her clothes for instance metallic, bubbled coats, bright colors...okay were 1 for 583,020 things the future has promised. This future everyone talks about is like an urban legend, it's like we have all heard about it but no one has ever truly seen it. Like Bigfoot, Sasquatch, or Tyra Banks without a lace front weave...just unbelievable. I mean i guess i cant expect too muchbecause even in the "future" George Jetson still used paper money.

Do you believe in magic?

Welp...Brady couldn't do it, even I thought he could make it happen especially after the failure of Peyton Manning all through the first half. I mean really...Peyton himself couldn't believe the crap he was giving on the field. And that's what it was ladies and gents pure crap! I swear it's the curse of the Manning...the Mannings are like the Kennedys of the NFL, just set up for the biggest "L" they can get. Archie couldn't make it happen, Eli choked, and then yesterday Peyton almost let down the entire state of Indiana. But then in a blink of an eye...the amazing happened, through the second half Peyton brought the Colts back! It was like Martin leading the people through Selma, like Moses walking the Isrealites through the Red Sea, remarkable I tell ya...remarkable. Through the whole thing Brady just kept looking so calm, so relaxed almost like he was taking catnaps on the side. When the final minute arrives I just knew Brady was going to do as he always does...win. But nope Brady couldn't make it happen...the magic is gone. He's lost it, just when I thought he could do anything...

Jet-setting in style...

So...Boeing has created a new intercontinental plane, all I have to say is...where do I buy a ticket? This thing is looking like something from 2045, finally a plane that has enough room for the fat guy, the lady and her BAK( bad ass kid), and ME, the flyest thing seen at LAX since the Beckhams moved to town! Let's take a gander...


Now why is it that they only show the "always have to be one step ahead" Japanese flying? Black people fly too you know! Although he is looking quite lavish in his Gucci suit...I bet his momma is snoring though.

Now all I want to know is do these steps lead to first class? Because from what I've already seen it may be okay to fly coach again on a plane like this...And is this a concierge desk???

Uh Huh...I appreciate the coupled seating you know because that third person can often be too much...heard the expression "three's a crowd" it is definitely true on a plane. Someone either isn't in the group or doesn't belong next to me! I'm an elitist, you're damn right everyone can't be in my presence it's too much for them.

Let me tell you...flying to Europe on this baby, 22 hours doesn't sound that bad at all.

"Get thee behind me satan!"

So...many people may not know this but I born and raised on a pew. I have been attending the the same church since I was four...which in some ways is a blessing and others is a pain in my royal a**. You know people have this feeling that because they have seen you grow up they can pretty much tell you whatever they want to about your life, the decisions you have made, the outfits you choose to wear, down to the choice you made to go to college. I can hear them in my head now, "Does your mother know you're wearing that?" "Well, yes Sister Sharlene I live with HER and she watched me get into HER car as I walked out of HER house this morning." WHAT TYPE OF BULLS*IT?! Does your mother know you're wearing that? Because if she did she may be embarrassed...hmph! "Are you sure you want to go all the way to Howard...it's soOoOo far" "Leslie, aww honey are you losing weight? good job, you were looking a little stuffed."

But my all time favorite is this hostess Miss Kiki, now with her sweet little Haitian self, this woman is the nosiest, most in your business, trynna be a matchmaker I know! So there's this handsome guy at my church who I will call Pretty Face for all for all intents and purposes who my mother and Miss Kiki decided I needed to be with because we make a pretty couple. One day my mother, Miss Kiki, and Pretty Face all go out to lunch and of course my name comes up...what a shocker! As the conversation commences it is found out that Pretty Face is dating someone special and who was upset about it? That's right, Miss Kiki! Miss Kiki proceeds to tell Pretty Face that she is praying against his relationship with this other woman because he needs to be with me!!! Of all the crap...I mean really to tell a man that you are going to take his relationship up with God?! Hell, I'm flattered that you feel so strongly about me and my lovely attributes as a woman, however you have now tainted a possible friendship with Pretty Face because he is going to think that I want him and his dirty drawls. Luckily for me my mother was there to clean up Miss Kiki's mess, but all I could think was WHO ARE YOU KIKI?!?! Modern day Chuck Woolery gone wrong!

I swear while I love and adore all the people Zoe Christian Fellowship of Whittier...BIG UPS to Pastor ED! But I wish they would mind their damn business! Let me tell you all something, the parents God chose to bless us with have done enough damage, please refrain from adding your pile of crap on top of the other things therapy is still trying to clean up. Thanks!

Is He the Savior?

So...He's doing it. He's going to for the gusto and give us all something to hope for in 2008. He has walked the halls of the Senate, He's graced Oprah's couch...he's the ONLY person in the free world who would turn down a ride in her jet, he's HAPPILY married to a Black woman, and simply he amazes me. I'm in love. Is that bad, to be in love with a man I will clearly never have or who further more is married with two adorable children? I even secretly plotted to move to Chicago become an au-pair for the Obamas, hold insanely intellectual conversations with him, smile at Michelle have her adore me, and then in turn make Barack fall for me, and then become the first lady. Go on laugh at loud or gasp and clutch your heart in disgust as I plan the demise of a Black marriage. I encourage Black love I swear I do...especially for me.

But isn't he just absolutely delightful? His smile is infectious, and something about a Black man in Brooks Brothers makes me HOT. I swear when he speaks I just become so enthralled by his candor and his thoughts and plans for America. You know I read the book, Audacity of Hope---> LOVED IT! He speaks so genuinely about the political process it's as if the whole thing hasn't destroyed his faith in the system and unlike the other baby kissing, hand shaking, plastic smiling Washington robots he appears to be human.

So...let me tell you I pray for America's sake He runs for president, but not only do I hope he runs but I pray he wins. I believe he can take our country to new heights and I swear it's almost as if he is our very own hero, it's a lot of pressure for him I'm sure but I am enthusiastic that He doesn't seem easily swayed by the hype, or overwhelmed by the pressure for him to succeed. All I know is that I am voting for Mr. Obama because I love you. OBAMA IN 08!!!

Friends...how many of us have them?

So...let me tell you something, if you have friends ask yourself what kind of friends do I have? Do they truly have your best interest at heart? If you feel you have successfully answered these questions, then ask your friends before you take your ass on television if you should go. Ask them if your outfit is a hot ass mess. Ask them if the man you are going out with is ugly, has stank breath, or is tacky because REAL friends will tell you. After watching American Idol yesterday I realized that some people just don't have any friends. There is NO possible way that MY friends would let me go on television and sound and look like an idiot. Getting on national TV singing your favorite song...OH BABY! If you sound a fool in the shower you WILL sound just the SAME on TV. BADD...with two Ds. Upon looking at this catastrophe I just had to think to myself what would my friends do? Well no need to wonder because my friends are the biggest bunch of honest b*tches I know. These girls will laugh at you in your lowest moment but will bring you out of a funk at the same time. Any person that will tell you your boyfriend is cheating on you and then go up to his new girlfriend just to laugh in her face at her tacky ass outfit is a friend... oops PERSONAL story. Anywho American Idol isn't the only reason for this rampage but also American's favorite primetime drama, "The Real World" which is featuring this season a person from the prestigous Howard University and yesterday they talked about his girlfriend for the first time. Should I say they FRIED her on TV. As he made out with two girls in the bar, and everytime she called him, he just ran to the phone pretending to be too busy to talk to her. Now my friends would have said, "Les, that ni**a is wylin!" Out of pride I would have had to cause a scene at school with the boyfriend so that people could see that I have more respect for myself and LET ME TELL YOU I have a lot of pride. It can get you into trouble sometime but for the most part it helps in every situation. Friends, ladies and gents, they're the people who you need in times of dispair, the people who will be in your corner, and the people who will CUT a hoe if need be. Remember friends...how many of us have them?

"Let Me Tell U Something"

i have been told in the past that i am quite quotable so i have decided periodically to leave you with some words of wisdom another way of LETTING ME TELL IT:

Some friends of mine have accused me of being a little rough, or perhaps a little violent but i simply put it like this:
"I'm not rough, I just can't help it if ho's are stupid and I have to bust one in the mouth."

Remember sometimes in life things have to be said, will you be bold enough to TELL IT?

In the Beginning...

so let me tell you...the year has begun and let's just say i didn't exactly ring it in with the all the celebratory glory shown in Times Square but nonetheless i'm here, alive and almost well. (more on that saga later)

i've decided to join the masses and blog. i find myself mildly amusing, highly intellectual, and damn it i've got tons to say! i'll write as often as possible, presumably daily and with as much vigor and humor as a i can muster, with the life i live i'm sure that won't be hard.

I've been a little under the weather lately and i swear i've almost gone insane sitting in my bed looking at these same eggshell colored walls, i can't imagine how people who are in asylums do it...my GAWD i would just think to myself, stop being a gat dang looney bin, shape the hell up and i'll be out of this hell hole! i actually had to go to the hospital and all that jazz, i was poked and prodded at for hours like a little specimen, definitely up there with the most uncomfortable moments in my life right up there with having to listen to the woman next to me scream out how f*cking much her hernia hurt. Poor Ms. Maynard( name of lady) who kind of resembled Schmeegle from the Lord of the Rings....AHHHH!!!!

lol ok maybe not that bad but i was bit frightened. Anyway...the hospital was quite an experience. I'm just glad I didn't go to House of Underpaid Help also known as Howard University Hospital, where I might still be waiting to be seen had I gone there. But i survived the day and now am just resting to get well.

as entry #1 ends i feel 2007 promises to be like never before and i'm readily awaiting, all i know is let me tell it it's going to a helluva year.